What a fucking waste of an outfit
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
