why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Boobs are out for the taking
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
