Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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