the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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