yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize
