ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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