Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize