I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I cannot find my penis.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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