Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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