you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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