He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Success! We fucked roommates!
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