Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
