how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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