I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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