the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize