Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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