Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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