naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
