No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
