I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
