I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
