I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
