U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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