i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
