you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
