Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
