very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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