No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
