White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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