No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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