took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
