Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize