Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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