she was so not down for the gang bang
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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