I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
