too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
