and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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