I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
