the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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