I wish my penis had an off switch
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
