fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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