Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
