I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize