i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Randomize
