From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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