There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
