shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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