I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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