Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
