first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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