he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
