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God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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