Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
